7 Reasons you are not having sex in your relationship and how to start again
Having sex is a way to express your love for your partner and bring the two of you closer together while also getting your sexual needs satisfied. When you’re no longer having sex then the relationship will suffer and you need to fix this situation before it ruins the bond between you and your partner. There are lots of reasons why this is happening, from having too many distractions to being emotionally distant, but these are things that can be changed by remembering to be romantic or trying kinky sex to make things exciting in the bedroom.
1) You’re no longer romantic
Being romantic helps increase the amount of intimacy there is between you and your partner so when you’re no longer acting that way the feeling of love diminishes. You still care for each other but the feeling is dulled and there’s no more passion so you won’t be in the mood for having sex. Eventually you’ll get used to things being this way and it will become a sexless marriage. You can fix this by being more romantic towards your partner and doing things that will make them feel special and loved, like giving them a massage, taking them to a nice restaurant or surprising them with flowers or champagne. You can also be more affectionate as a way of being romantic and do things like cuddle with your partner or kiss them more often. This will re-ignite the passion and you’ll be having sex more often.
2) Having sex is a routine
Having sex becomes a routine when you’re in a long term relationship because you’re used to each other and you know what you like in bed. This leads to sex being boring and both of you are going to lose interest in it which means you’re only having sex when you feel obligated to because it’s been awhile or because you just want an orgasm. This is when you need to make having sex fun again and be something you look forward to. You can do this by pushing boundaries and exploring new positions or kinky sex because this can show you there are lots of ways to explore sexuality with your partner.
3) You’re emotionally distant
It’s normal for couples to drift apart over time while still being in love but this can affect you having sex because emotional closeness helps you feel sexually attracted to your partner. This is especially true for women because they need to feel a close emotional bond to their partner before they want to be intimate with them. Before you start thinking about having sex more often you need to work on your relationship and rebuild the closeness between the two of you. Spend more quality time together, talk about things that are important to you and show more affection because these activities can strengthen how you feel about each other. When your emotions are in alignment then sex is going to naturally happen more often.
4) Relationship problems are taking over
Small problems can lead to bigger ones and these are going to take a toll on your relationship. When you’re upset at your partner you’re not going to be in the mood for having sex and that isn’t going to change until you resolve things. You need to deal with issues head on and be honest and calm as you talk to your partner about what’s been going on between the two of you. Share how it’s affecting you and work together to find a solution or lifestyle change that can improve your relationship. Once your relationship is back on track you’ll want to have fun with your partner again and to bring the passion back you’ll want to have sex more often and maybe even try kinky sex to take things to a different level.
5) Only one of you enjoys sex
Everyone’s sex drive and fantasies are different so there’s a chance that you’re not having sex anymore because one of you isn’t enjoying it. This can be difficult to talk about so your partner may choose to try to avoid sex instead of dealing with it. If your partner is the one who isn’t interested in sex then you can change this situation by talking to them about it. You need to take a loving, open-minded approach and tell them that you want sex to be good between the two of you. Take the time to find out what they like in bed, what kind of foreplay they need and if they want to try something new, like a position or kinky sex. When you know how you can make sex great for them you can become a better lover and get them interested in sex again.
6) You don’t make quality time for each other
Making quality time for each other is a big part of a relationship because being together is what your relationship is all about. If you only see your partner for a couple of hours each night after work and all you’re doing is eating dinner and watching TV then it’s easy to drift apart. You need to set aside time that’s specifically for the two of you to get back to basics and build a meaningful life together. You can start having regular date nights, take an overnight trip to a nearby city or do a hobby that both of you have in common. This will help you remember how much you like being with your partner and you’ll want to be intimate with them more often because you’ll feel like you did when you first started dating them.
7) You have too many distractions
It’s common for people to check their phones before bed or spend some time watching TV or playing on their computer but this isn’t a peaceful way to ease into a romantic moment. Other distractions, like problems at work or having a hectic schedule because of your children can also cause you to be too tired at night to have sex. You need to come up with a bedtime routine that is quiet so it’s easier for you to be intimate with your partner. Try and spend half an hour before bed relaxing with your partner so you can ease into sex. You can also try to organize your life better so that you can get things done on time and can set aside moments for just you and your partner.
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