8 Success tips for dating while separated but not divorced
Dating while you’re still legally married can cause a lot of problems if you don’t deal with the situation in the right ways. It’s easy for your ex to be jealous that you’re moving on so quickly or for you to make the wrong impression to potential new partners. Before you jump into anything you need to take some time to think about what you want, decide if you need to take any steps to be more prepared for dating again and talk to your ex so there’s no misunderstandings. Making an effort at the beginning of this journey helps guarantee you’ll have a more fun and successful time meeting other singles.
1) Make sure everyone is clear about being separated
Making sure that everyone understands the status of the former relationship is important when you start dating. You don’t want your ex thinking that you may get back together eventually or your new partner worrying that they’re really a mistress you’re lying to. Talk to your ex so they know you’re serious about seeing other people and when you meet someone you’re interested in tell them that you’re separated but are going through divorce proceedings. You need to make it clear to everyone that your past relationship is over and you’re serious about moving on. This stops misunderstandings from happening which means less fights and more stability in your new relationship.
2) Have self-confidence
Self-confidence is a sexy personality trait to have and it helps you make the right impression when meeting new people. It can be hard to feel that way after getting out of a serious relationship and you’re dealing with heartbreak. You need to wait to start dating until you feel your confidence coming back but you can speed the process up through self-care. You need to do this before you start looking for a new partner and keep working on it while you’re seeing them. Spend time exercising, eating healthy and going to therapy to work through your feelings about being separated so that you can improve your state of mind. When you have self-confidence there’s a big difference in how you present yourself to others and you’re going to be a better person to be in a relationship with.
3) Be okay about dating again
You may be okay about dating at first because it gives you something to look forward to and it brings excitement back to your life but other feelings can come along once you start meeting people. Doubts, fears and regret can surface and this can cause problems if you ignore them. This happens because the reality of being separated is hitting you and you’re realizing there’s unresolved issues. When you go through this it’s a good idea to take to deal with the breakup and seriously think about how you feel about being single. You can still meet people but take things slowly and let yourself feel all of your emotions instead of only the positive ones. You can also talk to a friend, a therapist or post on an online forum if you need someone to listen to you.
4) Continue with divorce proceedings
You can’t let the excitement of dating again distract you from what needs to be done, like continuing with divorce proceedings. It’s normal to want to avoid doing something painful like that but the longer it drags on the worse it is for both of you. You need to insist on going ahead with the divorce because it helps you move on legally and emotionally from being separated. If you stay in limbo and keep seeing other women while still married it’s eventually cause problems because it makes them think you’re not serious about leaving your spouse.
5) Don’t rush into a relationship
Rushing into a relationship is the worse thing you can do when you’re separated because this is an emotional time and you’re not able to really commit to someone new. You may not know what kind of relationship you want or the type of person you want to be with. The person you’re dating is going to notice how stressed you are and your inability to be there in the way they need you to be which makes them less likely to take things seriously. You need to take your time when you meet someone new so you can be sure the attraction is real and you won’t make as many mistakes with them.
6) Take dating breaks when necessary
It’s important to pay attention to the variety of emotions you go through when dating because it’s not always going to be fun. When it become too stressful or overwhelming you have to take a dating break. Don’t message or flirt with anyone, don’t go on dates and don’t compare your dating activity with your ex’s. Take time to look after yourself and figure out what’s bothering you so you can deal with it. It’s okay to be single or decide that you’re not ready for a serious relationship but that a friends with benefits may be more appropriate for a while. You can always change your mind later on and start looking for a long-term partner.
7) Don’t share info your dating life
Sharing information about your dating life can cause problems because it may upset your ex or it can have consequences to the divorce proceedings. Keep who you’re seeing to yourself and give vague answers when your ex or any mutual friends ask if you’re with anyone. Don’t update your status on social media or brag about the hot date you had on the weekend. It’s hard to keep this to yourself but you have to because you don’t know what the outcome will be. As time goes on you can slowly open up about your dating life but make sure it’s at the right time.
8) Go to new places for dates
When you start seeing someone new it’s a good idea to take them to places for dates that you haven’t been before. It may seem like a safe thing to take them to a restaurant you’ve been with your ex because you’re familiar with it and you think they’ll love it but this can bring back bad memories. You want a fresh start so don’t go on dates to places that remind you of your ex. Use these dates as an opportunity to go to new restaurants or local attractions so that you can stay in the moment instead of being distracted by the past. This makes it easier for you to relax on the date which helps set the right mood.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
- 10 Tips to be attractive to a woman if you are ugly - December 19, 2021
- 8 Reasons why you should date a nerdy guy - December 5, 2021
- 10 Things men can do to get a second date - November 28, 2021
