12 Tips for being less jealous in your relationship and how to change it
Being jealous in your relationship isn’t healthy because it affects your mental and emotional well-being as well as putting stress on both of you because your partner will be affected by your behaviour. You need to find ways of being less jealous and deal with your insecurities so you can be in a happy, secure relationship that will be long lasting.
1) Work on your insecurities
Your insecurities could be the cause of your jealousy because you’re focusing on all the ways that you’re not good enough for your partner. This brings down your self-esteem and makes you worry that they’re going to leave you for someone better. Think about what you don’t like about yourself and work on them. This could be trying to lose weight, making more of an effort to look nice or working on career goals. When you feel better about yourself you’ll worry less that your partner wants someone else.
2) Accept the idea that the relationship may not last
It’s rare for a relationship to last for decades and only ending when one of you passes away. If you accept that your partner may not be the “one” you’ll be more relaxed and won’t get so jealous when they’re friendly with the opposite sex. When jealousy flares up remind yourself that you can’t make them stay with you and focus on enjoying the relationship you do have with them because living in the moment will help you realize how much time they do spend with you.
3) Talk to your partner
If your jealousy problems or insecurities are affecting your relationship then you need to talk to your partner so they understand what’s going on. They might think you’re no longer in love with them and are expecting you to break up with them, which can make things worse for you. By talking to them about how you’re feeling they’ll see that it’s a problem the two of you can work on and make the relationship stronger than ever.
4) Give your partner some space
Spending too much time with your partner can cause jealousy because it makes them feel smothered and they’ll pull away from you. This causes jealousy because you’ll wonder why they don’t want to be with you and you’ll be jealous of people they do spend time with which will cause insecurities. Giving each other space is part of a healthy relationship and they’ll be more open with you because they won’t feel like you’re acting possessive towards them.
5) Be specific about what makes you jealous
There must be something setting of your jealousy so pay attention and make mental notes of when it happens. When you know what’s causing your jealousy you can start working on ways to stop it. If it’s something that your partner is doing then talk to them about it because they probably don’t realize how much it’s bothering you. If it’s something that you can fix yourself then make an effort to change because you don’t want jealousy to ruin your relationship.
6) Think about how bad jealousy makes you feel
Jealousy isn’t a good feeling and it will affect your mood and how you see things. Being aware of the negative effects that jealousy has can give you motivation to change the way you react to things. When jealousy hits you think about how bad you feel and whether this is something you want to experience again and again. The answer should be “No.” and you’ll try different ways to get rid of jealousy until you find what works for you.
7) Find a way to relieve your frustrations
Pent up frustrations can lead to jealousy, especially if the reason for your jealousy isn’t your partners fault, such as them having male friends but you think she might be cheating. Relieving your frustrations when you start to feel jealous can stop that emotion before it gets worse so do things like go for a run or go to the gym for a heavy workout.
8) See the positive side of things
Jealousy can bring up negative thoughts, like your partner doesn’t love you or they’re cheating on you, and you’ll get wrapped up in this until it’s all you can think about. You need to break your negative thinking pattern and learn to see the positive side of things. If your partner hangs out with their friends a lot then be happy they have friends who care about them or think about how you’ll be going on date night in a few days.
9) Make your life more fun and interesting
If jealousy is becoming a regular part of your life then you need to get away from it and work on building a better, healthier life. Stop paying so much attention to what your partner is doing and make your life more fun by taking up a new hobby or take a night course in something you’ve always wanted to learn. This will make you feel busy and fulfilled and you won’t have time to deal with jealousy.
10) Learn to not take things personally
Taking things personally will make you jealous because you’ll get into a habit of thinking that your partner doesn’t care about you. When they do something that makes you jealous tell yourself that they’re not doing it on purpose and it doesn’t mean anything. They still love you and you’re over reacting. By doing this you’ll see the difference between intent and accident and realize that jealousy is a waste of time.
11) Remind yourself that your partner is not your ex
You’ll notice every little thing they say and do with people of the opposite sex and see it as being more than it is. You have no proof your partner is cheating and you need to remind yourself that they are not your ex and don’t deserve to be treated like this.
12) Respect boundaries
Respecting boundaries can ease feelings of jealousy because it stops you from paying attention to things that aren’t your business. When your partner goes out with friends don’t check up on them to see if they’re telling the truth or if you think they’re lying to you don’t look in their phone or computer. You might find something innocent and twist it into something bad due to jealousy. Give them space and trust them because this is how you accept things as they really are.
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