9 Common mistakes when hooking-up for the first time
It’s fun and exciting hooking up with someone for the first time but it’s easy to become distracted or overwhelmed by these feelings. Your libido will take over and you’re going to be more open to risky behaviour. This can lead to you making mistakes that will ruin your experience or cause regret later on. It’s important to know common mistakes that people make when hooking up so you can recognize when you start doing them and give yourself time to get under control and back on the right path so the entire experience can be enjoyable.
1) Losing control of your libido
Losing control of your libido is bad for two reasons: it causes you to act riskier than you normally would and you can orgasm faster than usual. You don’t want to do something you’re going to regret later so when you feel yourself getting too excited you need to slow down and re-focus. If you don’t do this then not only will you do something you’ll regret but you will also orgasm sooner that you want to because you’re too aroused. Taking things slower will help you keep control of the situation and make sex last longer.
2) Trying something new
Hooking up with someone for the first time is exciting and you may be tempted to try something new, like a different sex position or acting out a role play. It may seem like a good idea but trying something new in bed is something you should only do with someone you know well and have had sex often with. This is because a stranger doesn’t know what you like, they have their own interests and it’s awkward enough having two people find their sexual groove without adding new positions or role plays.
3) Not talking about sexual interests
If you have different sexual interests, like certain fetishes or role plays, then hooking up isn’t going to go well if you don’t discuss them beforehand because each of you will have expectations that aren’t going to be met. You need to tell them how you’d like things to go and what you want to do then ask them about what they want so both of you are on the same page.
4) Forgetting about safe sex
You should always practice safe sex when hooking up because you don’t know how truthful they are about being clean or how regularly they get tested for STI’s. This doesn’t always happen though because people get caught up in the moment or are persuaded into not using protection. You need to insist on practicing safe sex because if you don’t you’re putting yourself at risk and this is going to affect your health and impact your future sex life while you deal with the STI.
5) Sharing personal information
Hooking up with someone for the first time is scary because you don’t know who they really are or if you can trust them and they have the same doubts about you. If they are hesitating with meeting you then you may try to assure them by telling them a lot of information about yourself so they feel more confident about meeting you. Sharing too much personal information, like your address or where you work, can cause you problems if they’re not a trustworthy person or if hooking up doesn’t go well and that want to get back at you.
6) Not expressing yourself
When you’re hooking up you want things to go well and you’re focusing on satisfying your libido and this can make you avoid expressing yourself because you don’t want to ruin things. This behaviour can lead to you not getting what you want, feeling uncomfortable or doing something that you don’t want to do and this can ruin the experience for you. You have to gently express yourself throughout the sexual experience so your partner knows how you feel and if they should do anything different.
7) Not talking about boundaries
When you’re talking to someone online about hooking up you want to seal the deal as soon as possible and meet in real life but if you move too fast then you could end up not discussing certain things, like your sexual boundaries. You need to tell them what fetishes you won’t try and sexual positions, toys or role plays that you aren’t comfortable experimenting with and you need to find out what their boundaries are as well. This has to happen before anything sexual happens so that neither of you are put in an awkward position or feel like you’re being pressured or disrespected.
8) Pushing your boundaries
If you’re hooking up with someone who has different sexual interests than you and you have told them what your boundaries are there’s no guarantee that they will respect that. They may pressure you into pushing your boundaries by teasing you, working your libido to make you more aroused, making you feel like you’re ruining the mood or going ahead and doing what they want anyways and expecting you to go along with it. Letting them push you farther than you want to go is going to make you feel regret or ashamed and you don’t want to feel this way so you need to act confident and stick to your boundaries.
9) Forgetting them once sex is done
What you do after hooking up is as important as what you do before it and during it because it’s part of the whole experience. It doesn’t matter how things went or if you’re going to see them again because you still want to end things on the right note. You can’t forget them as soon as sex is done because it’s going to make them feel like a sex object instead of a human being with thoughts and feelings who just shared an intimate moment with you. If you want to end things quickly with them you can’t just leave right away and ignore any texts they send you. You have to tell them you had a great time and send a short but polite text saying you’re too busy to see them again if they get in touch.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.