9 Tips on how to have a great threesome (for couples)
Having a threesome is an exciting new activity you can do as a couple to push your sexual boundaries and keep the spark alive between the two of you. This isn’t something you can rush into though because you can make mistakes that will turn the whole night into a disaster and it can damage your relationship. You want this to be a great experience and this takes time because you need to make plans with your partner, be selective about who you choose for your threesome and get to know them better. By learning how to do this the right way you can have a fun night and make it a regular part of your sex life.
1) Talk about what both of you want in a threesome partner
The first thing you need to do when thinking about having a ménage à trois is have an open and honest conversation about what you want in a threesome. Take turns sharing what you’d like, from whether you want a male or female to join you, their appearance and age plus what activities they need to be open to. You also need to talk about the experience itself because some people prefer to mostly watch their partner be intimate with someone else instead of being a very involved participant. Come up with an idea together of how you want the experience to go so you know the kind of person to look for.
2) Join dating apps as a couple
You can do this by joining dating apps that specialize in having multiple partners or having a more liberal sex life instead of a standard hookup app. You can also use these apps to meet swingers and ask them for advice or check out their profile to get an idea of what you should look like. Spend time together going through profiles and reading messages that you get from interested people. You should only get in touch with people that both of you would like to meet and you can join a couple of different dating apps like adultfriendfinder so you can reach a wider variety of people.
3) Meet many people before choosing one
Before you choose your threesome partner you need to meet a couple of people you’re interested in to make sure they’re compatible with you. Arrange to meet them in a public place so everyone feels comfortable and have it be a casual get together. Chat over coffee about who you are, how long you’ve been a couple, why you want to have a ménage à trois and the kinds of things you’re interested in doing in the bedroom. Ask them questions to see if they meet your criteria and answer any questions that they have for you. Let them know that you’ll think about it, meet other people so you can make comparisons and only select a partner once you’ve met someone you both feel attracted to.
4) Socialize with other swingers
Having a threesome can be nerve-wracking because you’re being intimate with a stranger while your partner is right beside you. You can get used to doing this without going all the way by socializing with other swingers. This gives you a taste of what it’s like and help you decide if you’re ready to take things further as well as be an opportunity to meet potential threesome partners. You can go to a swingers club as a couple and get used to flirting with other people and seeing how other couples deal with inviting a new person to play with them.
5) Spend time getting to know them
Once you’ve chosen the person you’re going to have a ménage à trois with you need to arrange a time and place to meet them. Meeting them at home can give a more relaxed feeling but going to a hotel may make you feel safer. You need to plan some time to get to know them before taking things into the bedroom and this is different from when you first met them because it happens during the first half hour of their arrival. This time is about the three of you getting comfortable and having a drink to loosen up and get in the mood. Be flirty and pay attention to both the new person and your partner.
6) Discuss boundaries as a group
Right before you start the threesome you need to discuss one last time what the boundaries are. This is to make sure everyone is one the same page and no one is going to wreck things by crossing the line. This gives everyone one last chance to change their mind and to ask any last minute questions. This quick discussion helps make everyone feel safe and confident in about what’s going to happen and this means the threesome starts off in the right mood.
7) Have enough condoms and lube
You need to be physically safe when you’re having a threesome so make sure you have enough condoms and lube for the night. Have them handy on the bedside table so you can quickly get what you need without ruining the moment. You need to use a new condom for each person because you don’t want to accidentally pass something from the new person to your partner. You also need to make sure they don’t have a latex allergy so the condoms are safe to use with them and that the lube is compatible with any sex toys you’re using.
8) Check on your partner during the threesome
There are a few reasons why your partner may not be happy during ménage à trois but won’t say anything because they don’t want to ruin it. This is why you need to look at them and ask if they’re enjoying it. Make sure they don’t feel like you’re showing more attention to the new person and ignoring them or that they haven’t changed their mind because it’s not going like they thought it would. It’s okay to talk during sex and change what’s going on so they can have as much fun as you are.
9) Make sure all of you are satisfied
It’s hard to please two people sexually at the same time but this is what you need to do during a threesome. Slow things down if you get carried away and make sure you keep at the same pace as them. Give both people equal amounts of attention and pay attention to their body language so you know what they enjoy the most. At the end of the threesome all of you should be happy and satisfied with how things went.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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