Dating tips for men: 8 Ways to appear confident (when you’re really not)
Confidence is a personality trait that not everybody has but it is one that you can fake until you learn to make it a part of who you are. You need to have confidence in in a lot of areas in life, especially for work and dating. Women don’t want to be with a weak man who can’t make eye contact or who can’t keep up their end of a conversation, they want a man who’s strong and reliable and this comes from how they act.
1) Make eye contact
Eye contact is a non-verbal way of expressing confidence because looking right into someone’s eyes for more than second can be scary and intimidating. Making eye contact is something you need to force yourself to do so that you can become adjusted to do it and it will stop being a problem for you. This shows confidence because you’re letting the woman know that you’re not scared of approaching her and you want to get to know her. Eye contact is a powerful thing and she’s going to feel compelled to pay attention to you which can help you make a good first impression.
2) Use confident body language
Body language is a quick way of showing if you have confidence or weakness and women aren’t going to date men who pull away from them, who look at the ground or who constantly fidget. They want a strong, reliable man so their first impression of you needs to convey this. You have to stand up straight, look ahead and make eye contact when she notices you, and keep a casual stance with your hand in your pocket or hold a drink if you’re the type of person to fidget. This is the kind of body language you need to use to send the right message to her.
3) Initiate conversation
You need to have confidence when it comes to picking up women because they’re used to the man making the first move and you’re going to stay single if you’re too shy to initiate conversation with them. You need to practice starting conversations with friends and co-workers so that when you meet a woman you’re interested in you can pretend it’s someone you know and approach her with confidence. Have a simple opening line, like “Hi, I’m John, I haven’t seen you here before.” and have a couple of topics ready so that you have an idea of what to talk about when the conversation gets going. She won’t know how nervous you really are and she’ll see you like any other guy.
4) Freely talk about yourself
You shouldn’t dominate a conversation because it makes you seem too overbearing but you shouldn’t let her do all of the talking or make her think you’re a time waster by talking about things you obviously know little about. Talking about yourself can take the pressure off of you because it’s something you’re familiar with and it lets her know more about you. You can also use this as a way to ask questions about herself if she mentions having something in common with you. This shows confidence in who you are and makes her think you’re a laid-back, open and honest kind of guy which are the qualities she’s going to be looking for.
5) Don’t put yourself down
When you don’t have a lot of confidence it’s normal to put yourself down, in your mind and when you’re talking to other people. You’ll do things like downplay your achievements or joke about how boring or ugly you are because it’s your way of letting them know that you and them are thinking the same thing about you. By putting yourself down first you’re making sure no one else can hurt you, even if they’re not going to. It’s a defense mechanism and women know it means you have no confidence in yourself. When you’re talking about yourself you need to be proud but humble and never say anything negative about who you are even if it’s how you truly feel.
6) Be flirty and fun
Women want a man who can flirt in a sweet way instead of an aggressive way so be friendly when you’re talking to them. Use positive body language, make eye contact, smile, laugh, make jokes and when you flirt make sure you don’t say or do anything too sexual. They’ll know that you’re flirting with them and they’ll quickly flirt back if they’re interested in you. Pay attention to how they react and when it goes well let it boost your confidence level and keep going until you make a date with them.
7) Don’t act flashy
If you’re struggling with your confidence you may try to over compensate by acting flashy and doing things like bragging about how much money you make, showing off an expensive phone or watch that you own or by offering to take her out to an expensive restaurant for a first date. You’re trying to impress her and distract her with superficial things so she doesn’t see the real you but that’s going to be a turn off. You should never talk about money when you first meet them and try to focus on things that are important to you, like talking about a favourite local restaurant that you’d like to take her to.
8) Ask her out
A big way of showing confidence is by being upfront and telling her that you like her and want to go out with her. The thought of doing this may terrify you but if you push negative thoughts away and quickly try to ask her out you won’t give your nerves times to flare up. Ignore the doubts in the back of your mind, flirt a bit to see if she’s interested in you then ask her out. This shortens the time you have to wait to see if she’ll say “Yes.” and if things go well you’ll see that your low expectations and self-doubt weren’t necessary. This is going to help your confidence and you’ll be less nervous on your date.
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