9 ways to Get and Give Respect in a Relationship
A healthy relationship is about equality and each partner having a certain degree of respect and power so that one person isn’t being domineering. Power balances can shift over time and if this is what is happening in your relationship and you no longer feel like an equal then you need to make some changes. These changes can be difficult to implement but as you slowly regain power and respect in your relationship you’ll find there’s a better balance between you and your partner and things will be stronger than ever between the two of you.
1) Stick to your boundaries
Being a doormat is a good way to lose respect and power because it shows your partner that you don’t care about anything and will do whatever they want. To stop this from happening you need to set boundaries and let your partner know what they are so they don’t cross them. It’s also a good idea to have consequences if they don’t respect your boundaries, such as spending some time apart. If they do you need to let them know what they did and that it bothers you and follow through with any consequences if necessary.
2) Speak your mind
You need to learn how to speak up for yourself if you want more power otherwise what you think and want are going to be ignored. Your partner may know what you want but will pretend they don’t because they want to have their or way or they may genuinely not realize that you’re keeping things to yourself. Don’t be afraid to let them know what you want and if they don’t seem to be listening you need to be more forceful by insisting on their attention and repeating yourself so they know you’re serious.
3) Have a say in decisions
Your partner is the one who makes all the decisions when you have no respect or power because they’re used to getting their way and can’t be bothered to ask for your input. They assume you’ll do what you’re told and that is not part of a healthy relationship. When your partner makes a decision without you, you need to speak up and tell them you need to be consulted before any final decisions are made. Make sure you talk it over with them and that the final outcome is something that both of you are happy with.
4) Tell your partner when they upset you
When your partner upsets you, either deliberately or accidentally, you need to deal with it straight away instead of ignoring it. They’re not going to respect you if they see you as weak so stand up for yourself and show them that you demand to be seen as their equal. Be calm as you tell them what they did to upset you and ask them not to do it again then see how they react. If they respect you then they’re going to be more considerate of your feelings and think more carefully about their actions.
5) Keep your promises
When you tell your partner that you’re going to do something you need to follow through with that promise instead of letting them down because they’re going to appreciate this. It shows your partner that you care about them and this is going to greatly improve the way they see you and they’re going to want to make more of an effort at being in a good relationship with you. Your word is a powerful thing and you’re going to get a bad reputation if you constantly let your partner and others down.
6) Have a social life
Maintaining your independence while in a relationship can help you gain respect and power because your partner knows you can live without them. They don’t see you as a desperate, needy person who is lucky to be dating them, instead they see you as a strong, outgoing person who takes an interest in life. This is why it’s important for you to spend time by yourself working on hobbies and going out with friends or work colleagues because your life should not revolve solely around your partner.
7) Treat your partner how you want to be treated
The best way to get respect is by leading by example and treating your partner the way you expect them to treat you. When you treat them as an equal they’re less likely to think less of you and their behaviour towards you is going to be more positive. You should think about what behaviours make you feel good then act that way towards your partner and gently point it out them if they don’t reciprocate so they understand that all you want is to be treated fairly. Be supportive, listen to them, help them out when they need it and speak to them in a respectful way so that you set a good example of appropriate behaviour.
8) Learn how to communicate effectively
Being able to communicate effectively affect how much respect people have for you because it’s an important life skill and it helps convey the right attitude. To communicate effectively you need to make eye contact, use facial expressions to show what your feeling, speak in a calm manner and know what you’re going to say ahead of time so you’re not all over the place. This makes you seem smart, confident and reliable which makes people naturally respect you more and learning this behaviour is going to help you in all the relationships you have, from romantic ones to platonic ones.
9) Take responsibility for what you do
A relationship involves two people so you can’t blame your partner for everything and you need to take responsibility for your role in the way things are. Your partner is going to notice you trying to change and if they say anything to you, you need to say that you’re not happy with how you’ve been acting lately and you’re trying to improve things. When you say or do the wrong thing you need to accept responsibility, apologize to your partner and make an effort not to do it again. Accepting responsibility is a sign of integrity and is a way that you can command respect without making it obvious what you’re doing.
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