Dating after divorce: 10 Tips to make it easier
Dating after divorce can be an emotional experience because you’re still dealing with having your heartbroken and you’re learning to trust and love again. It can also be hard to get back into the dating scene and find someone who’s right for you so dating after divorce isn’t something you should rush into.
1) Try dating sites
Dating after divorce may be a different experience for you if your marriage was a long term one because you probably never tried dating sites before. Dating sites are a popular way to meet people now and it’s more socially acceptable to find a new relationship through them. You can join a couple of different dating sites, put up an interesting profile and grab the attention of available singles who are looking for someone like you. There will be all sorts of people on them and you can narrow down your search by looking for people based on where they live, what they look like or what their sexual interests are.
2) Consider different types of relationships
You may not be ready for commitment when dating after divorce because you want to enjoy the single life for awhile so take the time to consider what type of new relationship you want. You could look for a friend with benefits situation, a one-night stand, a casual relationship or a serious relationship and now is a good time to experiment because you have no commitments. You could try a couple of different relationship types to get an idea of what works for you or keep an open mind and see how things work out when you meet somebody new.
3) See dating as a fun experience
Feeling nervous or having a strong desire to have a successful relationship is normal when dating after divorce because you don’t want to get your heart broken again or feel like you’ve failed at another relationship. This puts unnecessary stress on you and will put you in the wrong frame of mind for dating so you need to start looking at it as a fun experience. Don’t give yourself standards to live up to and remember that you’re not going to find a perfect partner on your first try.
4) Make sure you’re over your ex
You need to make sure you’re over your ex and that chapter of your life is finished before you attempt dating after divorce otherwise unresolved issues will flare up. If you’re not sure you’re ready to date again then just go on one date to see how it goes and pay attention to what your thoughts and feelings are during the date. You should be excited and focused on your date and feel like you’re ready to move on. If your ex fills your mind then you need to take some more time and work on your issues before trying again to date.
5) Have an idea of who would be a good partner
Think about the qualities you found attractive in your spouse and what personality traits drive you crazy because you don’t want to make a mistake by dating someone you know from past experience isn’t right for you. You should only try dating after divorce once you know what kind of partner you’re looking for because this will stop you from wasting time with matches that won’t go anywhere.
6) Focus on your social life and hobbies
You want to make a good first impression when dating after divorce because no one wants to go out with someone who is boring and has no social life. If your divorce took your time away from friends and hobbies then you need to get back into them so you seem like someone who’s interesting and well rounded. Hang out with friends, spend time on hobbies that make you happy and make these a regular part of your life so that you have something to talk about during your dates.
7) Talk to your divorced friends
The divorce rate is high in most places so you probably have friends that have gone through dating after divorce so they understand what you’re dealing with. These are the friends you need to talk to because they will have the most helpful advice and give you an insight that your other friends are unable to give. Listen to their first hand experience, learn from their mistakes and look to them for support so that you can feel more prepared about starting a new relationship.
8) Don’t rush into love
Rushing into love is one of the worst things to do because you’re not thinking clearly and there’s still baggage from the divorce. Falling in love during your first new relationship means you’re going from one serious to relationship to another and you’re not giving yourself time to enjoy being single or taking the time you need to really get to know your new partner. You need to learn that it’s okay to like someone but not be in love with them and that it might be awhile before you meet the right person.
9) Date another divorcee
Dating after divorce can be difficult but you can make it easier by dating a divorcee because they’re on the same page as you and will be more understanding than someone who’s never been through that. There are dating sites that cater to divorced people and there are also social groups that you can join to meet other divorced singles. This can make dating a more successful experience because you can be honest with them and know that they’re going through the same issues as you which will bring you closer together.
10) Take dating breaks
Being married makes you used to always having someone in your life and being suddenly single can be a big adjustment which some people avoid by rushing from one new relationship to another until they get burnt out. You don’t want this to happen to you so take dating breaks as a way to mentally and emotionally recharge. If you go on a date or a series of dates with someone and it doesn’t work out then take a break to enjoy being single. Have fun and when you feel ready try dating again because you’ll be in a more positive mood which will increase your chances of having a better date.
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