10 Positive things I could have only achieved after my divorce
Going through a divorce is a painful experience for most people but if you keep an open mind you’ll realize that some positive things can come out of it. Knowing this can help you keep perspective on what has happened and you’ll be better equipped to have a health relationship once you start to date again. You can get a whole new lease on life, from re-discovering good sex to understanding yourself better, which can be a good way of dealing with divorce.
1) Pursuing all of your dreams
You can pursue all of your dreams after a divorce because you no longer have to take your partner’s dreams into consideration and find a way for both of you to achieve what you desire. You can spend you spare time planning and checking off items on your bucket list because you only need to think about yourself. This is going to make you live a more fulfilled life and you’ll be happier than if you hadn’t had the time to go after your dreams.
2) Going further in your career
Being married takes a lot of work and attention which can lead you to focusing less on your career. After a divorce you can take some of the time you used to spend with your partner and use it to advance your career. You can do things like work overtime or take on more projects or you can take a course at a local college to learn new skills so you can stay up to date on changes in your field. These things will impress your boss because it shows them that you’re taking your career seriously and you could end up getting a promotion or a raise.
3) Saving more money
Being in a relationship costs money because there’s two of you and not only are you spending money on things you need as a couple but you’re also spending money on individual purchases. Once money issues from a divorce are settled you will only have yourself to take care of and this gives you more control over how money is spent. You can live in a smaller home, buy less food, buy fewer home decor items and go on cheaper vacations because you don’t have to accommodate your partner anymore.
4) Making yourself a priority
When you’re in a healthy relationship there’s a lot of give and take and sometimes this eventually turns into a one-sided relationship. You can make yourself a priority again once you’ve gotten a divorce because your ex-partner won’t be around to take control or belittle you. You can do whatever you want when you want and you don’t have to do things you don’t want to just because you want to avoid a fight. You can focus on your needs and wants and spend your time making yourself happy.
5) Spending more time with friends
Spending time with friends is something that usually dwindles when you’re in a relationship because you’re spending time with your partner but you can change this after a divorce. Instead of spending the night at home keeping your partner company you can hang out with friends and strengthen the bond you used to have with them. You will notice how much you’ve missed them and they will be able to give you support while you deal with the after effects of the divorce as well as giving you a temporary distraction from this major change in your life.
6) Re-discovering good sex
You’re going to have good sex when you’re in a healthy relationship because you’re in love and feel affectionate towards your partner but by the time things deteriorate to the point of getting a divorce you sex life will be gone. Once you’re single again you can re-discover having good sex by joining dating sites and meeting sexy singles for hook ups. You can take this as an opportunity to live out your fantasies and try things your partner wasn’t interested in while giving yourself time to get ready for a new serious relationship.
7) Understanding your needs better
You will have a greater understanding of your needs and wants after you’ve gone through a divorce because this type of life event makes you do a lot of reflecting on the past. You’ll have a better idea of what you need in a partner and what mistakes to avoid making with your behaviour. This is one of the most positive outcomes of divorce because it helps you have a healthy relationship when you start dating again and makes you feel more confident in yourself.
8) Know what you need for a healthy relationship
A healthy relationship is difficult to have if you’ve never been through a rough patch because it gives you less perspective. Through a divorce you’ll remember all the little things that led to fights, when your marriage started breaking down and what made you fall out of love with your partner. These are things you need to pay attention to because this can help you make better decisions with your next partner and have a better chance at having a long lasting, healthy relationship.
9) Appreciate being single
You have a better appreciation for the single life after you’ve been through the stress and pain of a divorce. You’ll be glad that one of the worst times in your life is starting to be a part of your past and you’ll get to do all the things you couldn’t do while in a relationship. You can stay out late on weekends, party with your friends, do things on your own schedule and not have to deal with the difficult parts of a relationship, like having to think about your partner every time you make a decision. You’ll experience a new sense of freedom and this can give you an emotional boost that can help you move on from the divorce.
10) Realizing how strong you are
This tests you as a person and it can show you how strong you really are. When you move past this time you will look back on all the times you felt broken and worn out and realize you got through it. You will feel more confident in yourself and will be better prepared to deal with other stressful life events.
She is working as writer for diferent websites. She has published many hand-books about adult dating and relationships.
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